Thursday, March 30, 2006
oh.my.god.i cant believe what i saw on the weighing scale.SHOCKING NUMBERS!!5* kg!!!!!
i am so gonna swim my lungs out during swimming tmr!!
i must be fit i must be tonned i mustnt be fat i mustnt give up..
Monday, March 27, 2006
today wasnt a gd day..hmm dun get me wrong, nth bad happened but nth gd happened either..its just that i hate days like these when i dun really have much to do to keep me occupied..cos at times like this, random thoughts would fill my mind as i look at the world arnd me..
was on my way to tampines for dental this afternoon and as i took the train from tanah merah to tampines certain thoughts just flood my mind..no matter how hard i try to push them away,they just wun go..seeing ppl go by in groups talking and laughing, i began to feel self-conscious..aware of the fact that i was by myself..making me feel even more alone than ever..i know i have great frens and everything,but they cant be by my side 24/7..yet even with that knowledge, i just cant help feeling lost when im alone..at times like these, i cant help but look back at my life a few yrs back and think how carefree life was back then..
out of the 4 yrs of my sec sch journey, i wld say without a doubt that sec 2 was my best year..it was that yr that i became close to a bunch of really great frens like waikit,siying,sharon..i remember our frequent visits to changi airport's genki sushi and our meetings early in the morning in sch just to play..another fond memory wld be valentine's day whereby we showered each other wif huge aa gifts..haha..hmm i wld say tt these ppl definitely played a huge part in making my sec 2 yr so enjoyable..on top of tt, sec 2 was of cos the yr i knew him..but well, i have nth much to say abt that since it was all in the past..
on the outside, i may appear cheerful, outgoing and happy to most ppl..but how true is tt i wonder to myself..is tt really how i feel? or is tt just a cover up for a lonely, scared girl with no confidence hiding deep inside? im afraid to find tt out for myself..
suddenly i feel shocked at wat i've typed above..tts not who i would have portrayed myself to be like..it sure doesnt seem like the same person who encourages ppl not to be pessimistic about things and to cheer up no matter wat happens..
ppl say that certain incidents tt happened wld change ur life forever..maybe in the way u do things, or in the way u portray life on the whole..i suppose its true..before this yr, i dun think i've ever thought so deep and so much about my life basically..and the ppl around me who care about me and who i care about so much..
i wonder if i used to be too complacent..thinking naively tt the ppl i love would always be by my side..i was nvr too gd at saying tt i care..but i do..i really do..
sigh maybe its the weather thats making me feel so nostalgic and all sappy..rainy days nvr fail to make me feel like this..
lets just hope that tmr will be a beta day..
alpha house function
Saturday, March 25, 2006
went for alpha house function'euphoria' last nite..i guess it wasnt a very successful function cos sadly enuff,many ppl left before it was even over [stupid idiotic wk is one of them]..at 9+ only me,may,jenn,sharon,yl,xt and some other ppl were left..really very sad! think towards the end was still okie i tot,cos we danced mass dances(:
aft the function ended, a few of us went to the student lounge to chill and enjoy the lovely aircon(: hehe..wah before tt,i nvr even knew the existence of tt room lor! played a few rounds of bridge wif sharon,yl and jenn..aft tt, jon taught us the basics of billards and we started playing..lol think im seriously quite bad at it lah..haha sharon was pro eh..got in a black ball!! =)
hmm around 11+, we had to leave sch as the scs were aso leaving le..decided to have supper at bedok centre wif jenn,sharon,yl,jon,david,imran,wilson and ermz,the vball guy whose name i cant remember..heh..wah seriously feel like a pig man! i think the gals ate the most..haha we shared a bbq stingray and bbq squid..nubbad but then it was super spicy! mmm tot tt the milo godzilla(or dinosaur..wateva its called) was super nice (:
on the whole, i felt tt ytd wasnt such a bad day..=)
Thursday, March 23, 2006
im not sure why..these few days i begin to wonder if u've ever existed in my life..i feel confused as to whether we had ever been together before..becos right now, everything seems so far away & so unreal..
as i go about doing my things and carry on wif my life, i do still stop to think about u once in awhile..although u are no longer a part of my life just like how im not a part of urs,without fail ur name will definitely flash through my mind before i go to slp everyday..
a few weeks back i wld have felt distraught but now, i just try to push these thoughts out of my mind and regard them as nth out of the ordinary, as though thinking of u everyday is some sorta routine for me..
the break-up last yr seems to have pushed us millions of miles apart from each other..i wonder if its still possible to maintain a friendship wif u..its like,we hardly ever tok to each other now..sometimes i do have the urge to sms u to ask how u're doing but i wld be wondering if im sorta disturbing ur life cos u din asked about how im doing anyway..so i dunno if im kinda over intruding or smth..
although i suppose im healing from the breakup, i still feel kinda lost sometimes..i guess wat bothers me now is how our friendship seems to be bordering towards being non-existent..i wonder if u feel this way? or maybe u havent tot about it but watever it is, i just want u to noe tt i wld really be filled wif regret and sadness if we were to turn strangers from now on..i really really hope this wun happen..
if u still treat me as a gd fren..is it alright if u contacted me once in awhile? just to tok..doesnt really have to be anything specific..i guess ur probably busy lately trying to squeeze in time to hang out wif someone particularly dear to u..but do remember ur old frens once in awhile k..really hope u havent forgotten..
ppl say tt those who were once in a r/ship together and have broken up wld nvr be able to be friends again..i do hope wif all my heart that it wun be true for us cos i really really treasure this friendship..
i hope u read this..
Sunday, March 19, 2006
sigh. its 19th march..
wat more can i say?
=(
Friday, March 17, 2006
oh.my.gosh.hols are practically over!!!! and i ask myself this'' what productive things have i done?'' HmmmMMmm..NOTHING!!! ah im so dead man..i still have my stupid lep hwk which will probably take me a long time to finish,my work from the 1st 3 mths that i have yet to revise,and newspapers which i promised to read everyday! seriously,i am really a procrastinator man..sigh and im still considering going out wif 3 peas tmr nite and wif nessa,may,xt,yl,jenn on sun..where am i going to find time to do work? i noe i shld sacrifice these 2 outings,but i really really wanna go...hai):
sigh.i broke my resolution today and smsed him even though i told myself not to..its not like i din try,but i really couldnt help it cos he was on my mind the entire day..mm it wun hurt to keep in contact..wld it? i wonder.. is it cos of the fact tt its just 2 days away to the day which was so significant to me 2 yrs ago tt i keep thinking of him..
hai..obviously i havent gotten over him completely.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
havent been updating my blog as frequently as i shld..gosh its been a week! haha waikit is right..my blog is dying!!! and its only been like less than a mth..haha okok i shall try to update at least once every 2 days during the hols..hehe
mmm last wk was a super eventful week for me! had 2nd orientation and fri was our o nite! hmm before fri, xt was telling me about her dream tt only 3 ppl turned up for it..luckily more than 3 turned up for our o nite..hehe and im glad we managed to get through it successfully(: hmm was really busy running arnd during o nite making sure everything ran smoothly..haha during the band performances,xt and i were standing on the stage at the wings and looking at the crowd gettin high and stuff..i must say its really really a great feeling!! seeing ppl enjoying becos of smth u helped organise..(: orientation passed by in a flash..so did o nite..all tt hard work put in by the scip ppl,ogls..im sure everyone will agree wif me tt it was totally worth it (: hmm achalli im feeling quite sad now cos the end of orientation sort of marks the end of scip..
during this first 3 mths,i've really really enjoyed myself in tjc. made so many frens in cg 21/06, scip and alpha house..i must say this has been one of the best times of my life..hope tt aft the first 3 mths all of us will still keep in touch kk(: haha i noe i sound like im changing schs or smth,but achalli im not..instead,im changing class to 34/06 and changing my house from alpha to beta..sigh i really feel very very sad cos its like now tt i've already bonded so well wif my house,meeting all the great ppl like nessa,may lee,may,jennifer,yl,xt,freddy etc... and joining alpha hoouse cheerleading..it really really saddens me to have to leave alpha!!! sigh..but of cos i noe there is nth i can do lah,so i really will try to make more frens in my new class and house and im sure i will be able to bond wif them sooner or later..of cos at the same time, not forgetting all my alpha mates..~once an alpha warrior, always an alpha warrior!!!~ =)
ok so tts mainly wat happened..hmm march hols are approaching! got so many activities lined up..meeting up wif frens,cheerleading trainings,cg outing..etc. but of cos..still have to leave some time for doing hwk and catching up on my studies.=( now i regret ponning so many lectures during 1st 3 mths..got loads to catch up on le..SIGH..
wif regards to him..well i think im really beginning to pick up the pieces le..im finally able to let go of the past memories tt i had wif him and get on wif my life..although once in awhile,when i read his blog posts about him and her, i still feel a tinge of sadness..but i dun cry anymore which is an improvement i guess..yep sigh hopefully i can get by next wk..since 1 wk later, on march 19, it wld have been our 2 yr anniversary..WLD HAVE been..sigh..ok shant think so much anymore..i gotta push these sad thoughts and all the 'what ifs and wld have beens' out of my head..i.am.officially.out.of.his.life..yep i gotta keep repeating that to myself..
ok going to slp now to replenish on slp lost over the past wk..
Sunday, March 05, 2006
I LOVE MY PARENTS!!!! hehe..GUESS WHAT PPL!!?? i got the fone of my dreams!!!! nokia 7370!!! hehe it is so so super super pretty man..i can just stare at it for hours..lol(: hmm been charging it for the past few hrs so havent got to turn it on yet..cant wait! hehe(:
today is a great great day! wHHooOooo! (:
Saturday, March 04, 2006
havent been blogging the past few days cos have been really busy getting ready for next wk's orientation(: haha mmm lotsa planning to do..hopefully the Highlights Committee will make Voyagers' Nite 2 a night to remember! (:
mm cant remember wat i was doin the past few days so i shall just blog about today. haha went to sch at 9plus for a scip/ogl meeting which ended like 10 plus. aft tt, the ogls had mass dance test. hahaha the clan masters were super hilarious, esp. zenith clanmaster! lol(: aft our meeting in sch, highlights com went to BK at parkway to eat and discuss some stuff..haha went home at around 4 plus and slept for 4 hours straight! did more orientation stuff on the com aft i woke up..lol
wonder if its cos of the hectic schedule and enriching sch life..but these few days,i hardly tot about him at all which is a gd thing i suppose..
''as u cycled and led the way, i struggled to catch up as im riding on an old bike wif lotsa wear and tear while a new bike is carrying ur weight, aft much difficulty i managed to ride beside u and catch a glimpse of the radiant face tt always made my heart skip a beat...'' hmm i noe theres no pt in saying this, but i am willing to be the one to wait for u to catch up, match ur pace and to cycle next to u ya noe..but as said, theres no pt really in saying this since im not the one u want beside u..
smsed him awhile last nite and he told me he was going to sentosa tmr wif her..wat can i say? i wished him gd luck..it hurts to see the one i love slipping away through my fingertips..it really really does..hopefully i can continue to keep him out of my mind succesfully..
looking fwd to next wk's orientation(:
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
i get wat u mean loud & clear. (: haha dun worry im not dense..the truth is, u dun have to tell me all this cos i already know deep in my heart tt its not going to happen e way i wld want it..but a person is allowed to dream once in awhile rite..
hmm dun like to see u so sad and bothered and stressed out..really hope u feel better soon. its not the end of the world..when one door closes, another opens..theres still many routes for u to take..of cos u will feel sian abt the results but must try to be optimistic k? i'll be there to help u along if u allow me to..jia you~ enjoy ur cycling trip later(:
